Winston Churchill

Nancy Astor was an American socialite who married into an English branch of the wealthy Astor family (she holds the distinction of being the first woman to be seated in Parliament). At a 1912 dinner party in Blenheim Palace—the Churchill family estate—Lady Astor became annoyed at an inebriated Winston Churchill, who was pontificating on some topic. Unable to take any more, she finally blurted out, "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee." Without missing a beat, Churchill replied:

"Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."

Another famous Churchill reply also involves a London party and a female Member of Parliament, and once again a slightly inebriated Churchill. This time, it was Bessie Braddock, a socialist Member of Parliament from Liverpool, who finally had enough. She reproached Churchill by charging, "Winston, you're drunk!" The Grand Old Man may have had one too many drinks, but he still had his wits about him, replying:

"You're right, Bessie. And you're ugly. But tomorrow morning, I'll be sober. And you'll still be ugly."